The Undergram

short descriptions/ reflection of places I’ve been where the filter hasn’t arrived

When I pick out virtually anything, from restaurants to lodging to clothing to neighborhoods, my first instinct is to read the reviews. This is nice but it’s also odd. It’s like having every experience pre-chewed for you, like a baby bird eating it’s mother’s vomit.

This is a millennial condition. I remember the novelty of Eater Lists, Four Square, Yelp. The race to find the “best new place” “the underground spot” “the up & coming star chef.” The thrill of the hunt.

I religiously skim the comments, weighing who’s taste I trust more, sorting by newest, smugly congratulating myself for identifying paid reviews over organic submissions. Hard to believe that most of these review boards have been around 15-20 years - is that a lot or a little? Like the cave paintings of Chauvet, these comments form a historical record of our daily lives, from upset customers to petty tastes to the performative je ne sais quoi of aspirational consumption. But since they’ve been around for a while, now reviews feel contrived. Influencers, paid posts, clever businesses that understand the power of these reviews to drive foot traffic. The result is a staged experience: the “photo-moment,” the overly cohesive aesthetic of things placed just so.

My husband is the opposite. He’ll literally walk into a place, read the menu and order, all under 15 minutes. He doesn’t even ask the waiter for their recommendation. Wild.

So whenever he chooses where we go - which happens on occasion, I find it fascinating that the places he chooses are untouched by the “Filter.” In these places, it’s clear no one is optimizing for an algorithm, there was no vibe strategist, mood board or decorator consulted in the process. No one asks for your Google review or five stars on Yelp. It is simply a place, at a certain space in time.

Castell’s General Store

Musicians welcome...always! FUN...mandatory! New friends are made everyday!!

The small general store near the Llano River is a quirky watering hole where local regulars and visiting bikers hang out for quick bite or a cold drink. The place is decorated with Jimmy Buffet signs (“I’d rather be on a beach”), stickers and taxidermies. One taxidermy in particular occupies a place of honor atop the main table. Cockaroo was an orphaned rooster the owners found in Mexico that became their pet. Next to the rooster is a note from the owners describing the rooster’s life and demeanor, a sweet and sincere memorial to a faithful companion that apparently humped anything within reach, but especially the restaurant’s Big Mouth Billy Bass. Castell’s is home of the Testicle Festival, a Fourth of July Redneck Gala, chili cookoffs, local music and many local holidays. Food is mostly burgers and nachos, refreshingly average, satisfying, oily, served without pretension by the owner of Twisted Bitch Cattle Company. Here, anything goes, everyone’s welcome and no one is trying to impress you.